#I hope this makes sense it's 4am
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something that genuinely annoys me as a chronically ill person is getting constantly asked only about my health. how are you? how are you dealing with it mentally? im the same as always. this is my normal. i don't want to be constantly asked about it. cant you be interested in something else about me. not my health. ask me about what I've been doing. what am i listening to. any fun dreams ive had. it gets really depressing very fast when every single interaction with others ends up starting with your chronic illnesses.
like i know it feels fucking different to you and you with your perfect health can't even imagine how someone is living like this. but this is my life. this is my normal. and id like to get treated like im more than just my illness
#rant#prompted by my grandma#i appreciate her caring but i do not like to feel negative every time im just telling her how my life is#why is it so hard for people to just accept that this is how i am right now and there is no guarantee im gonna be any better soon#the chronic in chronic illness is there for a reason#i hope this makes sense its 4am and im supposed to be asleep#chronic illness#chronically ill#disabled#disabilities#disability
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what if the power of each of the Evanuris is what's keeping the veil held up, and Solas' ritual was drawing upon their power and binding them to their idols (or just stealing their power?) in order to tear down the veil and keep them contained at the same time? he did say in Inquisition that he had contingency plans for the gods, to deal with them at the same time as tearing down the veil
i think he's doing tbe ritual here because the idols are directly linked to the Black City/Golden City where the Evanuris are trapped. see how the idols look like they're in a ritual circle that once belonged to a grander city? the Solas idol lights up when the cutscene starts, probably because he's imbued his power into it
it looks like he manages to get all the idols to light up except for one, the one Rook knocks over and destroys to stop the ritual, which frees two of the gods
so by stopping the ritual you may actually have just made everything worse, because now there are two really powerful, really angry elven gods on the loose...
#the fact that some guy literally nicknamed Rook. the Rookie. came in and just fucked shit up lol i love it#dragon age#evanuris#dragon age dreadwolf#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#veilguard#solas#also. its 4am here and im dead fuckin tired so i hope this actually makes some semblance of sense#shar.txt#datv
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a lil smth under the cut for u guys (part 3) <3
(light nsfw)
part 1 part 2
“Well, it’s not perfect, but it’s decent enough, so it’ll have to do,” James says, and Regulus it’s too busy trying to keep his breathing under control to be bothered by the other man’s words. “Relax your shoulders a little, love.”
“Don’t,” Regulus hisses, even though he isn’t sure himself if that response is because of the nickname, or James’ touch, or James’ closeness, or something else entirely.
“Don’t what?” James asks, sneaking a hand up and massaging one of his shoulders until both of them sag.
“You know what.”
“I don’t even think you know.”
Regulus huffs loudly, and hates that he can’t argue back.
“Show me how you do a jab,” James requests, his hands returning to Regulus’ waist after one last press on his shoulder.
Regulus clears his throat slightly, feeling a bit flustered all of a sudden while he raises his right arm and gets ready to do what James asked. He only hesitates for a couple of seconds before doing the punch, not as confident as he’d usually be after having James criticise him so much.
He knows he’s no expert. He isn’t even that athletic to begin with. But he still has a boxer brother, which means he’s definitely not as clueless as James is making him out to be.
Maybe if it were someone else, Regulus would find it in himself to fight back, defend his knowledge and Sirius’ teachings. But, as it turns out, having a professional boxer watching you try to punch is an incredibly humbling experience. Especially one as mind-blowingly good as James.
Not like Regulus would ever tell him that.
James hums. “Not bad,” he says, and really, it shouldn’t satisfy Regulus as much as it does. “It’s a bit too slow, though.”
Regulus tilts his head back, in an attempt to look at the other man, but he barely lasts a second after realising how fucking close both of his faces are.
His heart beats wildly in his chest. He can only hope James doesn’t notice.
“How so?” Regulus wonders, so relieved to hear his voice sounds completely normal.
“Jabs focus on speed over strength,” James explains calmly. “It’s a matter of overwhelming your opponent, rather than properly hurting. The punch has to be quick, and once the arm returns, it’s gotta go up, protect your face. Like this.”
He grabs one of Regulus’ arms gently, moving it forward and then back very slowly, to demonstrate how to do it, and then fast, jostling Regulus’ whole body with it.
“See?” James murmurs, and he could swear that his tone has gone lower. “You don’t have to worry about being strong enough. It’s all about speed.”
“Okay,” Regulus replies with a tiny nod, doing his best to concentrate on what James is seeing, and not on all of the points where they’re touching. Or on how close James is. Or how nice he smells, despite all the sweat—maybe even because of it. “I think I get it.”
“Yeah? Wanna try again on your own?”
Part of Regulus wants to snark back, argue that it’s only a stupid jab and James is just being picky because he’s a professional boxer and it’s not like there’s an actual science to throwing a punch. But having James holding onto his waist must be clouding his mind, because he just gives another nod, and does his best to replicate James’ movement and speed.
“Yeah, that’s it,” James breathes out, and Regulus can almost hear his smile. “Very good, love. You’re a natural.”
“Oh, I’m a natural now?” Regulus huffs out, but it comes out more teasing than irritated.
“Or maybe you just have a great teacher,” James adds playfully, accompanied by a squeeze on his hips.
“You’re right, Sirius is pretty great,” Regulus responds with a shrug, relishing in the way James clicks his tongue.
“But I’m better.”
“In your dreams, Potter.”
“Wait, what happened to ‘James’?”
Regulus feels heat rushing to his cheeks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
James chuckles way too close to Regulus’ ear, and his breath hits the side of his neck, goosebumps breaking all over his skin. Regulus has to swallow a very embarrassing and very needy sound before it makes it past his lips.
“C’mon, love, we were getting along so nicely. Don’t try to ruin it now.”
“You’ve finally lost it,” Regulus states, trying to laugh the whole thing off. It probably doesn’t work, though, considering how unstable he sounds. “There’s not a single universe in which you and I get along, Potter.”
“Liar,” James whispers. “I’m growing on you.”
“Whatever gave me away?” Regulus grumbles, sarcasm dripping from his words.
“The fact that you’re letting me touch you,” James murmurs, voice smooth and silky, feeling like a caress. “How you keep leaning against my contact, and catching yourself at the last second.”
Regulus’ breath hitches. “That’s—”
“The way you’re not even arguing with me anymore. Not really,” James continues, unrelenting, his lips grazing Regulus’ earlobe and making his eyes flutter shut. “If anything, I’d even dare to say you’re flirting.”
“You’re delusional,” Regulus spits, too breathless to sound as furious as he’d like to. “The fucking audacity—”
“And,” James cuts him off, tone so frustratingly smug, “I bet you’re aching between those pretty legs of yours.”
Regulus lets out an embarrassed noise, barely suppressing the urge to press his thighs together.
“No,” he croaks out, shaking his head a little and face burning.
“No?” James mocks him, pressing his smirk behind Regulus’ ear. “Shall we check?”
One of James’ hands moves slowly, sliding from its place on Regulus’ waist to rest under his navel, fingers playfully caressing his waistband.
Regulus hates how that mere touch is enough to turn his mind into static. To make his heart stutter in his chest, and the mess in his underwear almost unbearable.
“Potter—”
“No.”
Regulus’ eyebrows shoot up, and before he has the chance to ask, he feels James’ teeth at the side of his neck, nipping teasingly and dragging a fucking whimper out of him.
“What—?!” he begins, completely red in the face and attempting to move away from the other man for the first time since he allowed his touch.
James holds him tighter, bites down harder. “Behave, Regulus, or I’ll fucking make you.”
Regulus doesn’t listen, despite how the tone of James’ voice makes him tremble like a leaf. He keeps resisting, an outraged sound leaving his mouth while his body betrays him and becomes even wetter.
“Oh, you don’t get to play the clueless card on me,” James murmurs, his teeth giving way to a devilish tongue that turns Regulus soft and pliant, his attempts at freeing himself growing sloppy, lazy. “I always do my best to be patient, to respect your boundaries and control myself, but you’ve been a damn tease all afternoon, and I’m fucking done.”
“What the fuck are you even—”
“Enough,” James growls back, and it’s so commanding Regulus’ mouth snaps shut with a clack.
There’s a beat of silence, and then James is laughing under his breath. “Good boy.”
It’s filled with mockery, bordering on mean, and yet, it still makes Regulus moan like a fucking bitch in heat, eyes rolling to the back of his skull and body going completely boneless.
“Fuck,” James whispers, a mix between awed and devastated. “I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known. Is that what does it for you, baby? You wanna be my good boy?”
Baby.
Baby.
Baby.
Regulus moans again, even though it’s weaker this time, but he still shakes his head, or tries to at least, holding onto the last traces of sanity and refusing to let James win whatever twisted game they’re playing.
“C’mon, you were doing so well,” James mumbles, tongue licking up the side of his neck. “And you can’t fool me anymore. Not like you ever did, but still. I know you wanna be good for me, baby. Know you wanna please me, let me use you in whatever way I see fit.”
He tries to shake his head once more, but somehow, his brain gets the order wrong and Regulus ends up nodding instead.
“That’s right,” James coos, dropping a kiss on his skin, long and lingering. “Now, say my name, Regulus.”
“James,” he gasps almost against his will, mouth moving before his mind can catch up.
The other man groans and then attaches his lips to his throat immediately after, tongue pressing down as he sucks, the sting feeling absolutely heavenly.
Regulus tilts his head to the side to give James more space, eyes hooded and limbs heavy, back coming to rest against James’ chest.
“James,” he says again, without being prompted this time and the word almost sounding like a whine.
“Fuck, you’re driving me insane,” James hisses against his neck, peppering the skin with open-mouthed kisses, his tongue and teeth mapping out Regulus’ skin. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been dying to do this.”
Regulus whimpers, hands moving on their own volition and reaching behind him until they bury themselves into James’ messy locks. He pulls, a bit harsher than intended, but before Regulus can manage to apologise, James is moaning loudly, the vibrations on his skin making him shiver.
He pulls again, and James bites down on his throat hard enough to leave a mark. Regulus doesn’t have it in himself to reprimand him, or to tell him to stop. His brain is unable to focus on anything that isn’t James’ mouth working down his neck.
“We could’ve been doing this ages ago if you weren’t so fucking stubborn,” James sighs, lips caressing his exposed shoulder and dragging another obscene noise out of Regulus. “I knew you wanted it. I knew you wanted me.”
“James—” Regulus pants, apparently unable to speak anything else apart from the other man’s name.
It’s kind of embarrassing, how pliant a couple of kisses and a few dirty comments can make him. Regulus isn’t usually this easy, especially not in bed; he likes having a modicum of control, always ready to remind his partner that he doesn’t enjoy being bossed around. But, and as much as he hates to admit it, James knows what he’s doing.
Although, maybe it’s not even a matter of skills. Maybe it’s simply that it’s James, and despite how much he’s tried to deny it, he’s been desperate for him almost since the moment he laid eyes on him.
“God, baby, you taste divine,” James grunts, sucking on his collarbone almost at the same time that his fingers dip into Regulus’ waistband. They don’t get very far, and it’s more of a playful contact than anything else, but his breath still hitches. “Can’t wait to put my mouth between your legs.”
Regulus makes a keening sound, hips twitching, and James chuckles cruelly against his shoulder.
“You’d let me, right, baby?” James goes on, the hand that had slipped inside the basketball shorts changing its course and travelling up up up, until they’re caressing Regulus’ chest, following the shape of his scars. “There’s no point in pretending you’re not fucking gagging for it at this point. Just look at you. Look at you. I bet you could come from this. From me marking you up while I whisper in your ear.”
“N-no,” Regulus huffs, blinking furiously and doing his best to break out of his daze. “You’re too—too full of yourself. This isn’t enough, it could never be, and I—”
“Not enough?” James questions, stopping his ministrations. Regulus bites his tongue to stop the protest at the tip of his tongue. “Is this your way of asking for more, baby? Because you’re gonna have to do better than that. I don’t listen to brats.”
Regulus wishes he could scoff, elbow James in the stomach so his touches stop clouding his mind and tell him to fuck off. Maybe even show him how well he can throw a stupid punch.
But his body isn’t listening to his mind. It doesn’t care about what Regulus truly wants. Or what he’s been telling himself he wants, at least.
That’s why when he parts his lips, none of the curses he’s been preparing come out. Instead, there’s only need and lust. “Please,” he whimpers, closing his eyes tight momentarily. “Please, James, I—I just—”
James shushes him gently while circling a nipple, Regulus’ toes curling inside his toes and cunt clenching around nothing. “Oh, baby. It’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you so well. Give you exactly what you need.”
“Yeah,” Regulus exhales, hands spasming around James’ curls. “Please.”
“Gonna let me fuck you, baby? Let me finger you nice and open, so you can get ready for my cock?”
Regulus moans and nods and thrashes around, one of his hands slipping from James’ hair just so he can grab one of James' by its wrist, pushing his arm downwards and hoping to get some relief where he truly needs it.
James stops right before he reaches his waistband, a cocky grin curving against Regulus’ skin.
“Well, well,” James breathes. “Aren’t you a needy little thing.”
“C’mon,” Regulus complains, uncaring of how childish he sounds. He feels too fucking drunk on everything James to be able to think about anything else apart from getting off.
James laughs again, because he’s mean like that, and Regulus can already feel some tears prickling at his eyes out of frustration.
“You have to tell me what you want, Regulus,” James says, and his voice is so damn casual it actually hurts. “This won’t work otherwise.”
There’s no this, Regulus wants to snap back, but then James is pressing nearer, until Regulus can feel the outline of his hard cock against his ass. It makes him gasp and push back against it, really pleased by the little hiss James lets out at the pressure.
“See what you do to me, baby?” James whispers, dragging his lips over his shoulders, the side of his throat, behind his ear. “We barely did anything, and yet I’m so fucking hard it’s actually painful. You’ve no idea of how many times I’ve jerked myself off to the thought of you. Wishing it was your hand instead. Your mouth. The inside of your cunt.”
Regulus’ knees shake, a mewl escaping his parted lips, and James’ grip on him turns even stronger.
“I bet you’ll feel all tight and warm around me,” James goes on, tone husky, words dripping with so much desire it makes Regulus light-headed. “Make the sweetest sounds, too. I used to think you were too uptight and that I needed to fuck the stubborness out of you, but it turns out that you’re real fucking dirty, baby. Grinding back against my cock and opening your legs the moment I praised you a little. Oh, if they could see you now, baby. Big bad scary Regulus Black. Reduced to a pathetic, whimpering mess.”
“Shut up,” Regulus grits out, but he doesn’t stop rubbing his ass on James’ cock, or pulling at James’ wrist insistently, in an attempt to get his hand inside his pants. “You’re all bark and no bite. Spent all these months telling me everything you wanted to do to me, and now that I finally give you a chance, you’re only teasing and babbling in my ear.”
“Good try, baby, but you should know by now that that attitude of yours only turns me on.”
“Yeah? Then how come you’re not fucking me yet, huh?”
James’ other hand, the one that hasn’t stopped gripping Regulus’ waist for a single second, lets go and climbs up, taking a hold of Regulus’ chin. James uses it to tilt his head back, forcing their gazes to meet, and Regulus despises how he feels himself get slicker at the flash of danger on James’ gaze, the sharpness of his smirk.
“God, the mouth you have on you, baby.” James cocks his head to the side, considering, and he grips his chin even tighter. “So fucking filthy. And so pretty when you beg.”
“I don’t beg,” Regulus murmurs back, aware that it’s a lie. He still narrows his eyes when James barks out a laugh.
“Yes, you do. You already have. And you will do so again, if you want to come.”
“I don’t need you for that. I can just—just walk out of here, leave you hanging and get off all by myself—”
“No, you can’t. I’m sure you’ve also jerked off while thinking of me, right, baby? All that tension, all that repression, I know it took its toll. Did you finger yourself slow and deep as soon as you got home after our interviews? Came with my name in your mouth?”
Regulus only glares at him, not even trying to defend himself. What’s the point, when James can see right through him? Lying won’t do him any favours.
“You did,” James states, ridiculously pleased with himself. “You’re not gonna go and waste this chance over your wounded pride, baby. Argue all you want, but we both know you’re not going anywhere. Not when you’re practically drooling at the thought of taking my cock.”
“Don’t act like you don’t want it as much, if not more, than I do,” Regulus grumbles.
James shrugs, leaning forward and forcing Regulus to do the same. Until their noses are grazing each other, breaths intermingling.
“Never said otherwise,” he retorts with ease.
“Then what the fuck are you playing at?”
“Nothing, really. Just waiting for you to tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you, baby, I swear. You just gotta ask.”
Regulus purses his lips, but James does sound sincere, and at this point, it’s not like he has anything else to lose. It’s too late to try and save face, and his dignity, or whatever was left of it, took its leave the moment he allowed James to get this close.
Besides, he wants this. He wants James. Has done so for a while, probably since the very beginning, and not even he has this much self-restraint.
“Fuck me,” Regulus says in a soft exhale, watching the way James’ pupils eat at his irises. “Please, James, fuck me. I need you inside me, it’s—fucking unbearable, really, and I’m gonna lose it if you don’t—”
“Yes,” James gasps out, nodding fast, moves turning erratic as he finally slips his hand under the shorts, under Regulus’ briefs. “Yes. Of course, baby, anything you want, I’m—shit, you’re so—let me just—”
His fingers rub at his clit playfully, pulling a moan out of Regulus, before they continue their path down, until they’re running through slick curls, teasing at his entrance and marvelling at the wetness they find there.
“Fuck, baby, you’re fucking dripping,” James whispers in wonder. Regulus can only whimper, pushing against his eager hand. “And it’s for me. All for me. Fucking hell, just—come here—”
It’s when James tilts his head up, clearly wanting to kiss him, that Regulus finally manages to go back to himself. That Regulus remembers where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s doing it with.
Reality hits him with such harshness that the ground seems to tilt under his feet, leaving him breathless, and dizzy, and having to swallow down a wave of nausea.
What the actual fuck is wrong with him?
“Wait,” he squeals, James’ mouth already touching his. “Wait.”
To the other man’s credit, he does stop immediately at Regulus’ words, pulling back and fingers freezing where they were exploring at his cunt’s entrance.
Regulus takes a gulp of air, heart rumbling loudly inside his head, his brain screaming at him to get a fucking grip.
“Reg?” James calls him, a worried frown twisting his features while his eyes roam all over his face. “Baby, you okay?”
“Don’t—” Regulus wheezes out, clawing at James’ arm until he gets the hint and takes it out of his pants. He can’t think with those thick, calloused fingers resting on his cunt. “We can’t do this. It’s—no, James, just—no.”
Something pained flashes in James’ gaze, before it disappears, being substituted by a harshness Regulus has to look away from. “Regulus—”
“No,” he repeats, a lot firmer this time. “I’m not—I can’t, James. I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can’t.”
Regulus doesn’t stick around to hear James’ response, or watch his reaction. He moves away from him, legs shaky but still managing to support his weight, and he exits the ring without daring to glance back.
#AND FINALLY#ITS DONE#god i cant believe this silly scene ended up being so long#especially when i wrote it . without actually making an effort . since it's just a snippy and i was simply having fun#but i guess i should've expected it#anyways hope u guys enjoy!!#and that the wait was worth it!!#if u see any mistakes or something that doesn't make much sense#no u didn't#it's almost 4am and im knackered#be gentle with me etc#going to sleep NOW#boxer james agenda
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My hot take is that marcanne has as much potential for toxic yuri as any other calamity trio ship and it's not nearly as soft and fluffy as one may think
#amphibia#marcanne#anne boonchuy#marcy wu#in one hand: marcy kidnapped her. by giving her AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT something that was meant to benefit HER#(yes she didn't know it would work but the point is that she thought about herself first. even though it was her best friend's birthday)#she never wanted to come back. she wanted to keep her with her forever. she was happiest when they were together#most importantly she saw what she did as a good thing. as something good that she gave to her#yet still lied to her. After what happened with Sasha#she still lied to her. became another person to betray Anne#then she fucking died for her 😭😭😭#on the other hand. you have anne#she looked after her. she certainly loved her. but she didn't care much about the things that were important to marcy#nor did she care about her feelings or needs. she and sasha third-wheeled her for years#even though marcy came first#she could only really see her once sasha was gone#you have to remove her from the equation for both of them to flourish and connect#because the shadow of sasha's abuse oppressed them for so long. anne and marcy reuniting in S2 looked a lot like two people escaping#abuse together. healing together. coming into their own. becoming better people. they get to know themselves and each other much more deeply#now that they're free. only - they aren't free. they're constantly thinking about sasha. when sasha comes back they welcome her#they reproduced the toxic patterns she left of them#though i'll recognize that in anne's case she healed a lot more from sasha's toxicity than marcy#and you can see that in how her way of relation to marcy is a lot healthier than marcy's way of relating to anne#anne is now truly and genuinely connecting to her friend. marcy is still lying to her#pushing down her feelings. ignoring her own needs. pretending everything is okay. lying lying lying#anne was the only one who could escape but marcy couldn't quite move on yet. she couldn't be free#hope this makes sense i'm writing it at 4am i'll delete tomorrow if i realize it sounds dumb
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supercut
#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse#yurr#i literally spent like 5 hours on this for some reason.#this did include me accidently staying up until 4am hahaha oops#gwen stacy#miles morales#i would tag the other two as well but theyre so small and i hate when ppl tag minor characters in stuff so ya#if ur seeing this u know theure there.#8/8 is only a homestuck refrence if you make it one#also yes i do hc gwen as ‘24 bcz it just feels right and also me too twin#also the hand one on the photo strip… i hope that makes sense and is cute bcz theres no take backsies atp#its meant to be a bulliten board type deal#ghostflower#its up to u if this is in miles or gwens room#hahaha ok bye#(like the lorde song)
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Just reading back a little and saw this moment
And I think it's just sort of telling? How Best Jeanist refers to Tomura as destruction personified and Izuku says nothing, yet when En refers to him as sort of the same thing he voices what he really thinks
And I can only think that every time someone has referred to Tomura as something without a shred of sympathy and Izuku's kept silent, it might be something he takes note of. Especially now that he's become aware of Tomura's pain. Hearing everything they call Tomura, like he's just some sort of thing, like he doesn't have a name or a past or a house that was once his (something he explicitly said TO Izuku as he fell from UA), it's gotta open his eyes or something, right?
Even Nana has referred to Tomura as a "thing", though she must have meant the version of Tomura that is "the finished product" (hence the wings after the chrysalis that was shown during the surgery) - someone truly incapable of being saved (and thus removing herself mentally/emotionally from the crushing fact that he is family)
Reactions like this one below; saying nothing when coming across a different opinion
Reminds me of this
And I suppose there is also an element of something back from when Izuku told Gran Torino he wanted to save Tomura. Torino had said the words "Killing can be another way of saving", and at the time, Izuku wasn't entirely sure if there was anything left of Tomura/Tenko inside the fusion. Up until that moment he asked if Tomura was still there, he couldn't have fully known whether he would have to kill him or get to save him like he wanted to do. So, essentially, keeping quiet when people referred to Tomura as "destruction incarnate" (and other things), just in case that really was what he'd become
Though I guess that detail doesn't really matter now, what with Izuku wanting to save him, finally seeing Tomura was still in there and digging his heels in with the set determination of saving him. He saw Tomura's personality, the human in him, after all
Anyway
Now it sort of seems like Izuku is speaking up? Not just in the presence of those who think otherwise but against Tomura himself. En says Tomura is like "destruction incarnate" and immediately after, Izuku says "It's deeper than that. You're human"
In the end, I wonder if it matters more that Izuku spoke up to Tomura first, someone who NEEDS to know the truth and who would greatly benefit from someone challenging his thoughts head-on, rather than mentioning it every time someone refers to Tomura as some "thing" instead
I guess it adds more of an impact to the story too, that way
#(check reblogs bcuz there's more thoughts there)#oh god this is just a huge ramble#but its like 4am cut me some slack#i hope this makes sense tho in a way#to clarify im not like. pointing at izuku like 'and WHY didn't he speak up 🤨🤨🤨' in an accusing way or whatever#its just interesting to me#i thought izuku was being quiet for someone who wanted to save tomura so much#i'd put it down to Mission Priorities like the bias opinions didn't matter as long as an outline for the battle was drawn out#and everyone was working together#and yknow what thats probably it. like 70% of it#but now im thinking#and im wondering if its this#bnha#bnha 411#bnha manga spoilers#bnha spoilers#rambling rambling always rambling#izuku midoriya#shigaraki and midoriya analysis#mettys posts#metty posts
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i have said it before. favouritest thing about sol bufo is that he cares so deeply about his friends and he wants to take care of them !!!! SO BAD!!!! and when hes actively trying he is successful maybe half of the time. he cooks for his friends even though he is self admittedly not a good cook and never really learned how. he makes poorly advised knitted socks and hammer-covers for them. reassuring shoulder squeeze that hurts because he did it too hard. telling albin he was soo good at stabbing him when he was brainwashed..... and i think ... as much as sol cares he also has a ... limited amount of social intelligence and ability to read people (if i remember right caldwell mentioned sols low charisma was repped as him being kind of s cluelessly rude frog?) . IDK. theres something so silly and sad and endearing about this frog who cares SO much about people and wants to take look after them but still hasnt really figured out how to do it right yet.
#ramble tag#... i dont know if theres necassarily a point to this . i just think its kind of funny#anyway. hope that makes sense#sol IS good at caring for people too..#but theres just. he fucks up A LOT also and its FUNNY TO ME..... maybe sad if i think too hard#BUT MAINLY SILLY.#its like when hes trying rlly hard to Be a Good Little Buddy he fucks up#but when hes just there and present and sticking by his friends...#. half formed thought. anwyay! not an analysis i just like it#im always frog posting ....#solum bufo#naddpod#dont want to tag too obnoxiously ... THESE ARE 4AM RAMBLINGS
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I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~
I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?
first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question
i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.
TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)
deep dive under the cut as to why
-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?
i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.
-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?
this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.
when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.
think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.
and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).
-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??
this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).
what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)
they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.
...however...
this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)
and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):
so...
<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.
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since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)
he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.
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<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).
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with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)
see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T
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to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)
note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.
note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.
-> Romance in No Home?
another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.
from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk
when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.
exhibit A:
HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.
exhibit B:
here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.
exhibit C:
this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-> what do i think?
first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).
as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.
there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.
technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)
<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.
all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.
#ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DELULU ENOUGH!! THAT'S HOW SHIPPING WORKS IN GENERAL. IN EVERY FANDOM.#anon. this shit fried my head. it 3.30am and my brain is not braining anymore. i love analyzing these two but goddamn is it HARD.#THERE'S SO MUCH NUANCE TO EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE *cry*#life's been hectic and this question demanded i sit down in 7 different sittings to get everything written down. hence why it took me a bit#i tried to write down all my thoughts and i don't think i managed. but i hope what i have here makes sense.#and i also hope i actually answered ur question. i feel like i got side-tracked and possibly missed the target.#no home#no home manhwa#eunyung baek#haejoon goh#ey hj parallels#meta#집이 없어#webtoon#god u guys have no idea how many times while reading i was like 'omg they're gonna kiss omg pls do'#only to keep reading and going like 'hoLY FUCK PLS DO *NOT*!! get away from him omfg!!'#the whiplash was fucking unreal. i remember honest to god SOBBING at 4am every time they fought <- that first time read was rough#also! if you agree/disagree/want to correct me or just talk about the topic i'm open to discussion/criticism. (just pls be nice abt it ><)#my ask box is open <3
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am i the only one who thinks this season was really rushed? most of the time i wasn't able to feel and digest things because then other things were happening in a span of less than 5 minutes and then everything just...... ended? there were things that didn't have any depths, that was just made... idk.... in such a whatever way
they put anne and mary in there for one episode. then we see their relationship and that they're two psychos (affectionate) and then they vanish in the end. they put ned low in there, that appears out of NOWHERE, just to be in one episode and then kill him off. they kill izzy off and we don't even have the time to mourn, because next scene they've already buried him and now are making a wedding. i mean.
they tried putting a lot of new characters in there instead of focusing on the original ones and their developtment and it made the season feel so fucking rushed and idk man. idk.
#does this make any sense? i hope it does#i woke up at 4am to watch the episode idk what i'm doing#or saying#anyway#i'm gonna have to rewatch everything#now that the hype is gone#but i'm feeling like season 1 was a lot better#i wonder if they rushed the entire season because of the low budget?#idk man idk#our flag means death#ofmd spoilers#personal#txt post
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Can I say it's so funny how when people think that Taylor was putting up a front and pretending to be happy when she was with Joe for six years, but don't see anything performative about her behaviour lately? Like, seriously? You think her natural state is smiling for the paps and the public at every opportunity? You think she'd engineer these moments if she wasn't specifically trying to prove something?
no like seriously. taylors always pulled the “i’m SO HAPPY RN IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER” in every relationship prior to joe and made it a point to publicize it. every relationship she’s had has been spewed on the front cover and joe was the only person that made that fucking difficult!! like i’m genuinely just so tired of the narrative always being about taylor’s dating life like. why is that only ever the thing that people talk about. why does she feed into this sooooo much???? like it’s funny bc we all know this will be a completely different story next year. we know how the story always changes after something goes wrong and she has to do damage control through song lyrics.
like it just makes me feel like i’m fucking crazy we are constantly seeing the same patterns and promoting strategies and her choose quantity over quality for everything bc she can get away with the bare minimum. like going to coachella just kinda solidified for me that she is in a constant cycle and it’s embarrassing lmao.
#answered#anonymous#anon#it’s 4am and i cried a lot last night about something else so i hope this response makes sense???? bb
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sleep from sleep token lore feels very kindred league of legends coded like can you imagine that every time sleep craves a new vessel they have to literally sacrifice a part of themselves just for that additional human connection but while their limbs and appendages may grow back they will forever lose that part of themselves because the vessels now feel things that they will never understand but sleep will never feel the things they know and understand and they are so tired
so very, very tired
#i am also very tired actually#i hope this makes sense haha#i've been thinking about kindred a lot because i love their dynamic#sleep token#sleep token hc#i think about sleep a lot haha#and their dynamic with the vessels#while i think sleep may usually be quite benevolent#it's this disconnect between feeling and knowing that causes the most discourse between them#it is also 4am and i am very tired#sooo... who knows haha!
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Two hours. I got two hours of sleep. I’m so frustrated with myself.
Went to the ER. Everyone was very nice. They gave me an IV bag of fluids (I was dehydrated! Sad cactus!) and a little ativan (teeny dose), which was nice at the time! Just a little amount, but the (mostly) quiet room, fluids, and meds managed to relax me a lot. Could have fallen asleep if the bed was actually comfortable. Then they packed me up, gave me another little Ativan to take home for tonight, and said they’d contact my primary. Cool cool. Got some much needed food on the way home, then took the pill and got comfy. Again, smallest dosage they make, so no feeling too good. Managed to muscle past my anxiety to fall asleep, and… 2 hours. Woke up. Tried to go back to sleep. Too frustrated and anxious and I feel like crap. What should I do? Just eat a whole gummy and hope that knocks me out? For me, that feels like playing roulette. Could work, yeah. Could make me sleepy and pliable. Could also backfire and make me feel sick and extra anxious for another 5 or 6 hours. What do I do? Roll back up to the ER? “Hewwo, I woke up and I need more benzos 👉👈🥺” haha funny, but I’ve seriously been thinking about it 😑
God, I’m miserable. Been sitting outside on the porch for a bit. Not quite an hour. Needed to get out of the apartment, but tbh, nearly 4am outside isn’t doing much for me. I just feel alone. It wouldn’t help with sleeping, per se, but just someone, I dunno, hugging or holding me for a few minutes would honestly save me a little. What a mess. Oh yeah, and apparently my kidneys are going 👎👎👎 down. Bad meat. Not great test results. Not what I’m focusing on tonight. I’m a mess. Anyway, this was my update. Sorry for all the walls of text. Suppose this is mainly for me to look back on in the future, but can’t pretend it’s not at least a little validating to put this all out into the world and knowing that maybe one or two people read this and I didn’t suffer completely without recognition. Yeah…
#this is a lot of text#not really a casual read#ok ok… I can’t sit outside forever#gonna go back inside and I dunno make a hot chocolatey drink. grab some snacks#TRY to feel good even though I don’t#YES will probably get a little high#hoping that the combo of sugar. salt. and thc will give me the sleepy tools to just pass out for awhile#just a few more hours! please!#omg I was so pissed when I woke up and thought I’d slept for awhile but realized I hadn’t#’ what do you mean the last text I sent was only two hours ago? ‘#seriously. I thought I fell asleep around 11 pm but it was closer to 1am.#stupid sexy ativan. messing with my sense of time#it really wasn’t that big of a dose! I was basically a little buzzed for an hour or so each time#but the doctor was nice and straightforward with me. I just dunno tho. I’m a big guy with a history of anxiety. .5mg is weaksauce#god I’m getting anxious just sitting here thinking about trying to sleep again#it’s feeding on itself. I’m trying to rationalize this but it’s just this feedback loop.#is this my life now? I’m outside. I feel so alone. I feel like I could die any moment. in a sword of Damocles way. it’s there and waiting.#ok sitting outside isn’t helping#after 4am and yes I see cars driving by. I hear the occasional siren. but I still feel alone in the world#please tell me life goes on? please tell me we’re not really at the end here.#I always feel like I’m staring at our final days. that we’re all barely here. fucking ghost planet. waiting to die.#there’s war and hate and everything is expensive and I can’t.. I’m not a part of this world. I’m too poor and sickly and so it all seems…#like we’re on our last leg. like the final days of a fire sale. this body feels fit for the grave. this world is the grave.#I’m scared#ok like I said sitting out here isn’t helping. Ian. please stop.#yes. yes. ok. snacks and drinks and distracting tv. let’s try this again.#sorry this is a lot#I spent the last 20 minutes writing these tags and getting progressively more anxious 😬#you can ignore this#text
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The thing is, Batman/Superman fanfiction is all nice and good, but no matter what, it is ALSO physically impossible to outdo their canon first meeting (from the 50's, not any of the retconned things), so... Yeah.
#it's 4AM if you were wondering#but yeah that story was THE BEST and cannot be outdone#all the other versions.... make sense#not even as in 'too much sense'#just 'any sense whatsoever'#God I love that first meeting story#I still have high hopes for it to enter the Public Domain in maybe 30 years (bit less)#and someone making a movie adaptation that does ut justice#DC Comics is not going to do it#even if they were to try and adapt it they would make it make sense#I don't want that story to make sense#superheroes#batman/superman
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closed for @ofwaywards
location: the farm
it felt like a LONG twenty-four hours, but as soon as she's done with quarantining, jess makes her way over to the farm. she doesn’t mind the place, she likes most of the people, definitely likes the animals, less the cleaning up after them part, but . . it’s always where will is so she rarely has much of a choice.
her right wrist is bandaged up, spots of pink blood seeping through the cotton as she keeps it purposely hidden beneath her leather jacket. it isn't a big deal, just some glass scraped her and she's pathetically a bleeder — plus she really isn't in the mood for a lecture from him, not when she's not seen in him what feels like forever, so she just wants to hang out for a bit and leave all seriousness for later.
“ howdy, stranger, ” jessica grins at him, her best but somehow still worst southern accent creeping from her lips. it's not like it's been weeks ( or even really a couple of days ) but will is the only person she actually misses when she's away on scouting trips, so she can't help but be excited to finally see him. the farm has got to be one of the most important jobs around campus, but all she wants is to ask him to ditch it all so they can go off somewhere. “ if i help with whatever you're doing, can we get out of here quicker ? "
#hope this is ok ! lmk if i shud change anything... im ill and its 4am so idk if anything makes sense#tw injury#tw blood#𝓶𝓾𝓼𝓮 — jessica ono.#𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓼 — jessica ono.#𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 — william barlowe.#jessica&&william.
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Can you imagine Veneer going "I did this..." in reference to Floyd's condition and declawing? After all, it is Veneer's fault Floyd got declawed and lost his spleen, and partially Veneer's fault Floyd is partially crystallized and everything.
Oh, look! I made a reference to HTTYD, another Dreamworks creation!
Oooh dude he totally blames himself!! Especially after Bruce came to them about it! He'd spent a lot of time after Band Together being like "well, at least I'm not that bad. I'm a good person! I didn't do much directly, so..." Which is... blatantly untrue. He's always felt terrible, but has protected himself from fully taking the blame by subconsciously ignoring his actual impact.
But he's really started losing that false confidence the more he's had time to think about it and hear about the impacts he's truly had on Floyd. See the pain he's directly caused with newer eyes.
So... as time has gone on, he's had a lot of emotional and phsyical reactions to it. Overwhelming guilt that gets worse and worse until you're hurling, y'know. Now, he directly blames himself for everything. And I think it's justified- he could've stopped it all. And he knows this. He acted often out of selfishness. Even if he didn't directly do something terrible, he let it happen. And the consequences are catastrophic for those he's hurt.
Veneer is working SO hard to become better; to never hurt anyone like that again, to fully admit where he's wrong, to face it all and come out better. Actively seeking help and resources that he can in prison. But... I don't know if anything would get rid of that guilt permanently. And I don't think he wants to get rid of it, at all, anymore.
#hope this makes sense!! it's 4am and so exhausted /lh#veneer is a rlly interesting complex character#but again i am extremely tired so this 1.might not make any sense and 2. be mischaracterising HWJAHAB#im so worried abt getting characters wrong#anon#not art#long post
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okay. faithful 4am explanation post time.
so um first things first, i suck at explaining things i have always sucked at ir, so if this is oure nonsense my bad.
fewl free to ask questions if y want i dunno
so first thing imngonna say
its that the au is inspired by phasmophobia.
and basically its the trio (cashier, dummy and player)
going to haunted places and then straight up exorcising the demons and ghosts out (and yknkw the usual phasmophobia stuff, figuring out what type it is and blah blah)
most of the other gasa4 characters r either ghosts/demons or just peeps who r calling the trio to these places to get rid of them
example would be the ersons, party is just tired of the others, halloween IS a person but pretending to be a ghost, and christmas is an actual ghost.
theres of course more lore and stuff to it than this but thats a work in progress and i dont feel comfy sharing it as of rn lol
also theres a lot of religious themes attached to it, but they arent exactly like... how religion is irl.
im aware its a mess honestly im just having fun and doing my silly little things
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